How To Hide Your Library

It’s a key point to consider, especially given that newbie after newbie seems to be under the impression that we’ve hidden it.

“Excuse me, sorry, but where is the Library?”

“I’m sorry, where are all the books?”

“Like, hello, where’s the frickin’ stuff?!”

Ok, no-one has actually phrased it like that.

I’ll admit that the orientation of our buildings could be improved ever so slightly; and, that there are a few potentially misleading signs here and there. But, honestly, I’ve never known a group of individuals, the movers and shakers of the future, so wholly incapable of navigating their way around.

The first stumbling block is our barriers. Yes, the stupid plastic clip on their I.D. cards doesn’t help- but come on people, it’s a barrier, not an open-mouthed alligator! Swipe and walk! Swipe. And walk.

Exit, amazingly, really does mean way of leaving.

But what trumps all of the orientation issues which pervade our daily customer service interactions, is the strange (and immensely comical) notion that we’ve somehow hidden everything. Even more comical is the manifestation of this confusion, which seems to be an inability to walk through double doors.

Seriously.

If I had a fiver for every person who battles to swipe in, only to be confounded by two unlocked, dual-directional, swinging brown doors, I’d be able to buy a second Strictly Come Dancing Sweepstake 2011 ticket. Even though they can see people passing in, out and through them- they stop, return to the safety of the desk and ask for help.

Even then, guiding them to proceed through the doors to the lifts and stairs isn’t a failsafe mechanism for connecting them with resources. They come back, having been unable to locate anything.

What have they been doing for all that time? Standing in the stairwell?

It makes you wonder what they think we’ve done with the Library. Have we disguised it as the Canteen?

And what do they think is lurking behind the un-openable (even though they’re being opened) doors? A monster? Purgatory? (Make your own jokes) Michael Winner?

It’s not like the building is a Tardis. It’s massive, with a billion floors. What happened to the great explorers? I doubt Sir Ranolph Fiennes would take one look at a door and think “Oooh, not for me” and turn around.

Anyway, it fills us with amusement, and that’s what matters.

In tribute to the dooraphobics, I’ve found this gem from my childhood. Don’t have nightmares!

 

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2 thoughts on “How To Hide Your Library

  1. “The first stumbling block is our barriers. Yes, the stupid plastic clip on their I.D. cards doesn’t help”…
    again? really? because last year took them a while to cotton on but they did eventually cotton on.

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